Wednesday, September 8, 2010

What the hell am I thinking....we are only in the first month!

Feeling a bit overwhelmed today. Being the planner I am, I am trying to type up the information that I will have to know for my mid-terms and comps at the end of the semester. Mid-terms? Comps? Seriously, ASU went techno while I was working on my Masters. I did on-line exams and open book quizzes. We had to do a considerable amount of research and reflection; exams where not a vital part of the equation. I have no idea what I am doing. Every bit of free time is consumed with reading or assignments or thinking I should be working on reading or assignments. As I type this I am literally covered in books and notes with Dexter at my feet.

I am not too certain I am up for this, but I am in it now and I am going to give a shot before I throw in the towel. Wait, what am I thinking? Of course, I can do this. With all my classes in psych, I know that this internal dialogue can make or break my confidence. So, I know I can, I know I can.

Vent over.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Two Classes Down....and Still Four Years To Go

Second class was yesterday. I made a day trip out of it, which meant it was a long day yesterday. But I am loving classes and I can tell that I am going to make some great friends there. I think that this blog really is going to have to serve as a journal for class, because if I am not mistaken--we have to maintain a journal as part of a portfolio to turn in at the end of class. So, you will have to endure long, drawn out reflections that may not be very entertaining. But if you endured Ireland, you will make it.

I can tell as each class goes by, I will be learning more and more about myself. We are having to do plenty of reflective exercises. But when asked if there were any surprises when we ponder our life, I have to say I have no surprises ....yet. I have had the opportunity to complete many reflective exercises as part of my Master program, so not much has changed since May. However, Ireland was a point in which I realized that I can live with myself. While, it was only nine weeks, it was plenty of time to just be. I have not been really on my own --ever, but being in Dublin gave me the chance to step outside my comfort zone and grow a little bit. The biggest realization? I am way braver than I ever gave myself credit for and I don't mind solitude. I don't have a huge circle of friends and I don't need one. It has been hard for me to admit that I don't have to want to have a lot of friends. I guess I always thought I was suppose to. But I suck at the keeping in touch thing and there have been many friends that I adore that have been insulted by that fact. I do have friends now (old and new) that I wouldn't sacrifice for anything, even my phone avoiding tendencies.  But one thing I do know in tackling this program, is that these wonderful people in my class are people (aside from my family) who will be my biggest source of support and as such I will have to overcome my social awkwardness. This will be a challenge and I will really have to make an effort, because it does not come naturally for me. I have a long warm-up period.